Falling in Love with the Caller - not the Calling
by Lisa Reimer

God called me to be a missionary physician when I was 25 years old (all of us Christians are missionaries wherever we live). Eight years later, I am now in my second year of medical school at the University of South Florida Morsani College of Medicine.

I thought that my long journey getting into medical school was difficult, but being here has taken the challenges to a whole new level - personally and academically.

So if God has really called me to medicine, why have I been so miserable?

Lately, God has been showing me it's because I have focused too much on my calling and not enough on Him: the Caller.

He so desperately wants to know us, love us and have a relationship with us.

When I am doing things well and am more or less on top of my studies and to-do lists, I am tempted to think that it's because of myself, and I allow a little pride to rise to the surface. When things are not going well and I'm really behind, I beg God to help me catch up. I ask Him to bless the schedule I've made and that I would get through everything I have to get through. I try to do everything in my own strength, but at the same time, I ask desperately for God's blessing in my own little plan.

But lately, God has been showing me how much He wants my heart, mind, attitude and plan, and then He'll take care of the rest. What if instead I start my day out with a prayer like this:

"God, no matter what happens today, I need you. I cannot do this day without you, and I ask that you show yourself to me every step of every minute. Show yourself to me, and help me to follow you and your promptings - especially with the things that happen today that will be unexpected and/or frustrating. God, lead me. I am your servant to follow you wherever you lead, and with whatever unexpected events happen."

And then, throughout my day, I continually and constantly give my heart to Him…praying quietly to Him when surprises come that are beneath my expectations…asking Him if He has a new plan for me today…praying to him when I have 10 hours of work and only five hours to do it and trusting He'll allow me to get done not what I think I should get done, but what He knows I need to get done.

He wants me to love the Caller more than the calling, and then because of that love, to succeed in the calling not in misery, bitterness and a bad attitude, but in love, grace, mercy, kindness, peace, joy and with Him as my lead.