Stormy Waters

By Angela Flores, MD

Recently, it feels like I'm wading through a storming season in life. I feel the strain of increasing work demands that often overshadow the fulfillment I find in working as a physician. Despite significant job uncertainties, my husband and I became excited when we discovered that our family would be growing. However, my joys were smashed when I discovered that my HCG levels were dropping and my pregnancy was coming to an end. In my prayers I often ask that God would work things out for my good and His glory. I couldn't wrap my head around how all of this was for my good? Then God reminded me that only He has the answers for the things that I am unable to understand.

"Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit" (Psalm 147:5, NIV 1984).

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV 1984).

Like most women physicians, I like to feel in control of things. In the midst of all my confusion and sorrow, it was clear that my sense of control was only an illusion. I could only trust in God's character.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble" (Psalms 46:1, NIV 1984).

"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in time of trouble" (Psalms 59:16, NIV 1984).

While things haven't significantly changed, the waters feel a bit calmer. I continue to take things day by day and pray for direction for my career and family.

For the time being, it seems that God is having me stay where I am. My heart is gradually healing as I continue to cling to His promises.

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" (James 1:12, NIV 1984).

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28, NIV 1984).

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV 1984).